Days since EDD: 5
Weight gain: 14kgNumber of chocolates eaten today: None. But then I have just had breakfast. But I didn't have any yesterday. The nearest I got was peanut butter and jam on bread. I have told Ajie that it will get no more cakes until it has been born. Of course, no sooner had I said this on Sunday than friends turned up and Toby and Jim went out to buy a cake. So of course I had a slice. But now I'm trying very hard not to cave again. First rule of parenting: be consistent.
So, still no sign of baby although it does feel like it's about to fall out and yesterday morning it felt like it was trying to break free. I almost cried from the discomfort, especially as it was 5am and I hadn't got to bed until midnight and all I wanted to do was sleep. Had to use a million pillows to make myself comfortable on my back to stop it bothering me so much.
So currently the baby is way down low, pushing farts out every time I relax my pelvic floor (thankfully usually only when I'm on the loo), making me wee a lot, giving me a sore tweenie and groin area, making my inner thighs ache when I walk, making it difficult to walk for that matter (often I feel like I have to carry my belly), making my stools loose and frequent due to pressure on my bowel. Oh it's a joy. I have crampy pains and my belly keeps tightening and I have lots of twinges down low... but nothing much different to what I've had for a week or two now.
Every night I go to bed convinced, based on the way I've been feeling during the day, that I will wake up to contractions. And every morning I wake up feeling crampy and achey but no contractions. I have a few analogies. One is it's a bit like a kid who has been told that tomorrow is Christmas Day but when he wakes up he finds it isn't and is then told it's actually the next day and so on. Another is that it's like preparing for a marathon that keeps getting cancelled. It's important that you keep getting enough rest, that you train but not too hard and that you continue to eat the right foods... but you don't know how long you have to do this for. You worry that all your hard training is going to waste but you can't go out and run 20k or whatever (I've never trained for a marathon so it's a very loose analogy) because you might have to run the actual marathon tomorrow and you don't want to overdo it. And another analogy is it's like a flight that's been cancelled. You have to hang around waiting for it to be rescheduled, you can't plan too much in case you're not around to do it, and as Jim added you can't scuba-dive because you might have to fly the next day or later that day. So you just kill time, waiting.
So I wake up in the morning and realise a baby isn't imminent. If I'm lucky I have plans for the day. Either way I have to work on not being too disappointed and just chilling and enjoying the day, whilst trying not to feel like it's been wasted. By the end of the day I'm analysing symptoms again, congratulating myself for getting through another day and telling myself it could be tomorrow.
Then I wake up with no obvious signs and the whole thing starts again. It's exhausting.
And would you believe, the time is flying by. I'm getting nearer and nearer to having the choice of induction taken away from me and being told I have to do it. Whatever happens, this time next week I will either have a baby, or be having a baby. Scary thought....
To top it all off I'm covered in mozzie bites... grrrrr.... as if I don't have enough to deal with.