Bums, teeth, jelly fish and pigtails

The other day I was on the toilet when Phoebe barged into the bathroom - not an uncommon occurrence.

"Toilet!" she exclaimed, pointing at me.
"Yes, Mammy's on the toilet," I replied. I do look forward to the day when I can go to the loo in peace without my spouse or offspring barging in for one reason or another.
"Paper!" she exclaimed again. Then she commenced pulling off a ream of toilet paper.
"Ok! That's enough," I told her, hastily placing my hand on the roll so the paper tore off as she pulled.

Then she scrunched it up into a little ball and handed it to me to use. Ah! So helpful.

Phoebe's starting to get the hang of the toilet. She started showing interest in it a while back but never seemed entirely comfortable perched on top of her travel toilet seat, her little legs dangling as she clung to me. So a couple of months back I bought her a little toilet seat complete with a step and handles. Now she's pretty good at getting to the toilet when she needs to go, which is quite impressive for a 21 month old. When we're home we let her go nappy free and she'll sometimes do a little wee on the carpet, then hold it in and run off to do the rest in the toilet. She's not so controlled when it comes to poo or wearing knickers. But we'll get there. If she's watching telly and needs a wee she'll sit on her potty in front of the telly.

I wish we were having as much luck with tooth brushing. She never used to mind it and used to be really good but I think we let her have too much independence. The truth is she's not that good at it. She chews the brush until the toothpaste is gone and then loses interest. I figure one tooth is probably getting a clean whilst she's chewing but the rest are sadly forgotten. We've tried many different things. She has lovely strawberry (doorbree) flavoured toothpaste and we've tried various brushes, including an electric Dora one, which she gets excited about, shouting "Dorwa Dorwa" until you either a) switch it on or b) come near her with it, at which point she starts to cry.

Toby tries to get her to make "toothpaste milkshake" and I get her to brush my teeth whilst I brush hers. I tried making a game of chasing her around with a toothbrush, which she enjoys but manages to get herself into positions where I can't possibly get to her mouth, and frankly I find the whole thing exhausting anyway. We've tried bribes by letting her watch TV whilst she brushes but then switching it off when she stops. We've tried sending her to bed without a story, which just results in her getting really upset and worked up before bed. We've tried a book about how to brush your teeth. We've read advice online and in books and they all assume you have a willing child, as opposed to one that acts as though you're about to try and shove a newt down her throat and then sew her lips together.

So my latest tactic is to ban all sugary foods and drinks. No juice, sultanas, cake, chocolate or ice cream. When she asks for them I tell her that only people who brush their teeth are allowed to eat them. Then I'll give her the option of brushing her teeth first. We'll see how that goes then.

One milestone very satisfying to a mother has finally been reached. Phoebe now has enough hair for bunches, or pigtails as people seem to call them here in Australia. I can see why. They look like little piggy's tails. She's very cute with them. They really change her face and sometimes I can't stop looking at her thinking "oh, how cute." She's quite good at sitting still and letting me do her hair before she goes to daycare although it took me a while to find the right hair elastics as she has such a small amount of hair.

Another not so nice milestone was reached the other day when Phoebe encountered her first blue bottle. Now, unlike in England, a blue bottle is not an annoyingly buzzy insect, but a rather pretty sea jelly with a clear body about the size of your thumb, and beautiful long delicate blue tendrils. Unfortunately these tendrils pack a nasty sting and they tend to break off very easily in the surf. They can still sting after becoming detached from the body. I was stung a few years back and it bloody hurt. After washing the toxins off with a warm shower I sat with an ice pack on my leg for half an hour. It felt and looked like a burn.

On Tuesday I was on the beach with Phoebe. We were playing with some new sand toys and she kept running down to the shore to collect water in her bucket. A small wave bowled her over and she began to cry, which was strange because she would usually find that fun. I couldn't console her so I carried her back up to our things and started getting her ready to leave. I removed her nappy, tried to brush the sand off her, with her screaming and practically climbing up me. I asked her what hurt but she was so upset it was a while before I could make out her saying "foot". When I brushed the sand off her foot it was swollen and red with little white marks, just like a nettle sting.

I knew that fresh water was the best thing but we didn't have any with us on the beach. So now came the challenge: to get all of our stuff together, get off the beach, cross the road, through a small park with a steep hill, cross another road and back to the car, whilst carrying my screaming, clambering child and all of our things. I found a drinking fountain near the car but couldn't get her to keep her foot under it. Then I dumped our things in the back of the car, poured my water bottle over her foot and set off to the pharmacy, dunking her foot back under the fountain on the way. The pharmacist gave us some antiseptic cream containing a local anesthetic and some paracetamol for the pain and eventually she calmed down, though I suspect by then the sting was probably wearing off anyway. He told me hot water was the best thing so when I got her home I sat her in front of the telly with a bucket of warm water to put her foot in. Of course she thought this was great and fully climbed into the bucket saying "bath".


Newsflash: Phoebe just told Toby she wanted to do a poo and then did one on the toilet. Hurrah! This is doubly amazing as it's the third, that's 3rd! one today!
Also, Phoebe is now demanding ice cream (ee-heam) but refusing to brush her teeth and having a total meltdown because we won't let her have one without the other. That's going well then.

Phoebe, Party Princess

Last weekend we successfully took Phoebe to her first grown-up's party since she was a baby. It went a lot better than I expected and I was very proud of her.

We went over to Straddie (North Stradbroke Island) on Saturday for a wedding on Sunday. The weather wasn't the best for an island break, with rain alternating between torrential and drizzle, and winds of up to almost 70 kph. After settling in on Friday we visited the "party house" where most of our friends were staying. There were quite a few people there and I thought Phoebe might be a bit shy but she was in her element. It probably helped that we'd bumped into a few people on the ferry, including Mindy who came in our car to the other side of the island. By the time we arrived Phoebe was quite taken with her. She spent the evening flitting around the lounge room, eating crisps (and refusing dinner) and getting lots of attention as she was the only child there. We took her home in time for her usual bedtime of 7pm but it took her a while to wind down. It didn't help that there was no bath. She was a bit restless and I had to get her up again and give her a bit more to eat, then there was a bit of crying until eventually at 7.45pm she fell asleep.

At 10.30pm just as we were dropping off she had a coughing fit and woke up crying. We couldn't get her to settle again. Clearly waking in an unfamiliar room to the sound of wind howling round the third floor windows - and pretty spooky it sounded too - was freaking her out, understandably. It took us 2 hours to get her back to sleep and by then I think she passed out from sheer exhaustion.

Nevertheless she was in a pretty good mood the next day. We popped back to the party house to say hi, and Phoebe was a social butterfly again. We went for a drive to Brown Lake where we were going to walk but Phoebe fell asleep in the car, and besides the walking track looked impassibly swamped. Then we took her on a walk around the gorge, no mean feat in those conditions and there were spots where Toby had to carry Phoebe to prevent her being blown over. Once back at the house she settled down for a decent sleep, finally comfortable enough with her surroundings.

Then we took her to Sam and Christie's wedding. She was less lively there due to all the people although by the time the ceremony kicked off she was running around picking shells from the tables and loudly pointing out all the things she knew names of. I missed a lot of the ceremony due to that and being stuck behind people taller than me. What I did see was lovely though.

We managed to keep Phoebe out til gone 9pm, which we were amazed at. Apart from a temporary obsession with the wooden staircase she was remarkably easy to entertain. Of course there were lots of people happy to entertain her (and photograph her) for us. She spent some time throwing flower petals over the head of a little boy the same age as her, which was very cute. We took a glo-stick, balloons and a little pull out couch for her to play with. By the time of the speeches Toby and I were sitting on the floor with her and she was having a great time. Every time there was laughter and clapping she'd leap up onto her feet, screeching and clapping.

We were saying goodbye to the bride, who was downstairs preparing coffee, when Phoebe spotted a tray full of treats. I made the mistake of giving her one to keep her quiet. Then Christie suggested that they cut the cake before the people with kids had to leave so we decided to stay for that. In the meantime the treat tray moved to a table that Phoebe could reach and she parked herself next to it and proceeded to ram chocolate wafers into her mouth. Obviously I put a stop to that and the tantrum I'd been expecting for two hours erupted.

Needless to say we missed the cutting of the cake and unfortunately the cake disappeared and we didn't get any. Everyone kept telling us how lovely it was too. Very disappointing. The things we sacrifice for our children.

I kept waiting all weekend for the payback of keeping Phoebe up but it didn't happen. She went straight to bed that night, woke up coughing again but went straight back to sleep after I gave her a quick cuddle, had a nap in the car the next morning and a good sleep in her cot that afternoon.

We invited friends over for a bbq the following night as we thought it would be better to keep her at home and it was nice for us not to have to rush off to get her to bed. James and Melissa came around with their 4 month old baby, George and Phoebe was obsessed with him. She kept pointing at him saying 'baby, baby, baby' over and over and over again. Then she just wanted to be right up close to him, cuddling him, kissing him and touching his face. It was quite exhausting trying to stop her from being too rough with love.

She was a good girl going to bed that night too and has been well behaved ever since. I'm so proud of her and really enjoying her company these days. She's growing up so quickly. She's no longer a baby. She's now my little girl.

Phoebe gets ready for work

The other morning Toby was in the kitchen packing Phoebe's daycare bag. I was in the en-suite doing my hair and make-up. Phoebe took one of my handbags from the cupboard and threw it over her shoulder. She took a basket full of buttons and put that on her other shoulder. She marched into the kitchen.

"Kiss," she said to Toby, and puckered up.

He bent down and gave her a kiss. She pushed the handbag further onto her shoulder.

"Bye bye," she said, waved at him and trotted off to the en-suite.

"Kiss," she said to me.

I gave her a kiss.

"Bye bye," she said, waved and left the room.

I don't know where she gets it from.

Eating bogies with a spoon

Phoebe loves to pick her nose. It's a disgusting habit that I've been told helps her to develop her fine motor skills. Seems more like a gross motor skill to me. Her table manners also leave much to be desired. When she's bored or full or just not interested in what she has on her plate, she throws food on the floor, or over her shoulder, or spreads it across the table, or pushes her dish away with gusto. But she has always impressed me with her ability to use a spoon since a young age.

Last night, however, she went one step further and combined her love of nose-picking with her spoon skills. She stuck the spoon up her nose. Brings eating bogies to a whole new level. It might be a disgusting habit but at least she uses a spoon.

The Phoebetionary: Second Edition

It's unbelievable how quickly a toddler's vocabulary develops. Every day Phoebe seems to learn a new word or phrase. The other day it was "rou", which she learned when watching the fan go round and round. I'm not sure whether she knows what it means. She was so chuffed to have a new word that apparently everything was "rou". The next day was "pa-pa" (pasta) and today she tried a whole new phrase which I couldn't possibly repeat but which apparently meant "here's my other sock".

So, as she is now 17 months old it seems fitting that I update the Phoebetionary accordingly.

baby - baby, doll
baa-baa - the noise a sheep makes
bap-bap-bap - quack quack quack. Said when singing along to "Five Little Ducks". She does the action of the mother duck's bill with her hand too. Very cute.
Beebee - Phoebe
boo - boo, blue
bow - bird, elbow
brm-brm - car. Also used for any vehicle really, such as a picture of a train.
bub-bull - bubble
bum
bye
cah - car
Daddy
Dadie (Daydee) - Zadie (our cat)
dah-dah - water
dar - star
Deedoe - Monty (our other cat); the ninky-nonk.
deese - cheese
deet - teeth
dih-doh - tick tock. She sings this along to the song about clocks.
doh - dog
dum - done
ee-i-ee-i - Old MacDonald had a farm
ello - hello; yellow.
hi
ho - hot
Mammy
moo - moon; also the noise a cow makes
mwore - said as she uses the sign, which is putting her fingers to her lips, hence the mw sound. It doesn't always mean "more". Sometimes it means "food". Or "different food to what you've just tried to give me".
narna - banana
Nan
Nana
na-nigh - night night
nneee - knee
no - said with a Geordie accent (get in)
ock - sock
Oocie - Lucy
ooh ooh - what chimpanzees say
ow - something that could hurt, such as sharp oysters on a rock.
pa-pa - pasta
poo - I think this means poo. She has also called it 'paw paw' but I'm not sure she really knows what it means as sometimes she says it when she has a dirty nappy, and sometimes when she doesn't. And sometimes she has a dirty nappy and doesn't say it. So all in all pretty inconsistent really.
raa - the noise a lion makes
rororo - roll over (10 in the bed)
row - round
shoe - I love the way Phoebe says this. It sounds more like shhooowe.
ta - thank you.
ta-dah! - usually said when demonstrating her balance skills
trhtrhtrtrh - cat
wee-wee
wuff - what a dog says
yay - usually accompanied by clapping of the hands
Zazie - Zadie

Weaning: done!

Why have booby milk when there's chocolate ice cream?

I thought I'd give a quick update on the whole weaning thing.

In my last post, almost three weeks ago, I reported that it had been 45 hours since I last breastfed Phoebe, and pondered whether I'd ever do it again.

Well, I haven't. It's quite amazing. I haven't offered and she hasn't asked. Well, a few times she's made her milky sign but she's been quite happy with a cuddle, or a cup of milk, or a story, or snack. The time was obviously just right for both of us. In fact, dropping the last feed was much easier than dropping the morning feed.

I bought Phoebe a new no-spill sippy cup the other day and she now has a cup of milk at breakfast and supper. She also takes milk to daycare for afternoon tea.

For a week or two after we stopped feeding I didn't bath with Phoebe. I didn't want her to launch herself upon my naked boobies. A few nights ago we had our first bath together since stopping. She was interested in my boobs but not overly so. She cuddled and kissed them but didn't try to feed. It was as though she could sort of remember a relationship with them but not the details. Funnily, she also kissed Toby's nipples when she was in the bath with him. Funny girl.

So that's that and I have to say I'm amazed. There have been so many times that I've stressed about dropping a feed and at the end of last year I was really worried about whether I should try and wean before I returned to work. Then, after weaning all but two feeds, things seemed to stretch out for so long I worried that she'd be breastfeeding until she started school. I probably fed her for longer than necessary as it became such a part of our routine. As a working mother, routine is very important. If I didn't feed her before breakfast then she'd want to feed before I left for work. By this time she was covered in food and I was ready for work. So I'd offer first thing to avoid a messy late-for-work situation.

In hindsight all the worrying was unnecessary. When nature is allowed to run its course things just happen the way they're supposed to. It is difficult to surrender to that in this modern world where we are confined by society's expectations, limitations and schedules. Working may have made it easier to wean as for much of the time we were apart and I couldn't feed her. On the other hand it may have dragged things out for longer than necessary as Phoebe needed it for comfort, to make up for not seeing me so much, and I clung to the routine. In the end it didn't matter as it happened when we were both ready. I never got fed up with feeding Phoebe but I was ready to let it go. And she doesn't seem to have missed it much. It was one of the loveliest experiences I have ever had but man, I'm pleased to have my body back.

First sentence: "Hello Zadie"

I am so proud and excited. Tonight Phoebe said her first sentence. We'd gone outside to look at the moon (after she was pointing at her bedroom light and saying "mooh"). We couldn't see it because it was cloudy but we heard the familiar jingle of the cat's bell as she approached us. And Phoebe said, "eloh dadie".

I was super proud. This was just after bathtime where I asked her if she knew where her mouth was and she did. She also knew her nose, ears, eyes, hair and feet. At bedtime I asked her where Mammy's mouth was and she pointed at her own mouth.

"No, that's Phoebe's mouth," I said. "This is Mammy's mouth." And I pointed at my mouth.

I asked her again and this time she pointed at my mouth. I asked her where Mammy's ears are and she pointed at my ears. So proud.

I was seriously blown away by her ability to show me her body parts and I wondered whether she'd be learning it at daycare or whether she's just picked it up along the way. She could quite easily have gathered what nose and feet are from day to day conversations about her runny nose and putting shoes on her feet. But I've only really sat and gone through various facial features a handful of times, infrequently and not very recently either.

Anyway, it got me thinking that I should do a quick post about Phoebe's first words. A little Phoebetionary if you like. So here you are, in alphabetical order, with translations where necessary, a list of the words Phoebe uses regularly, aged 16 months.

baby - baby, doll
baa-baa - sheep, usually in reference to Baa Baa Black Sheep. She's not quite so good at identifying pictures of sheep just yet.
Beebee - Phoebe
brm-brm - car. Also used for any vehicle really, such as a picture of a train.
Daddy
Dadie (Daydee) - Zadie (our cat)
dah-dah - water
Danda - Grandad
deese - cheese
Deedoe - Monty (our other cat)
dih-doh - tick tock. She sings this along to the song about clocks.
doh - dog
ee-i-ee-i - Old MacDonald had a farm
ello - hello. Technically this is not yet a word as she has only said it once or twice and usually with another word, such as "eloh Dadie". However, I have no doubt it will soon become part of her general repertoire.
Mammy
moo - moon
mwore - said as she uses the sign, which is putting her fingers to her lips, hence the mw sound. It doesn't always mean "more". Sometimes it means "food". Or "different food to what you've just tried to give me".
nah-nah - banana
Nan
Nana
no - said with a Geordie accent (get in)
ta - thank you.
trhtrhtrtrh - cat
wee-wee - not sure she entirely understands what this is. She does say it when I'm on the toilet but she also pointed at the creek the other day and announced "wee-wee".