Just a little bit

Tonight at the dinner table, with a full plate of untouched food in front of her, Phoebe requested a treat.

"No, Phoebe," I told her. "You only get treats when you're really really good. And even then not necessarily every time. And certainly not when you haven't finished your dinner. Haven't even touched it."

Phoebe: No chocolate tonight, Mammy.
Me: No. Not tonight.
Phoebe: No chocolate....[pause]... Just Fudge.
Me: No Phoebe. Fudge is classed as chocolate. [We're talking Cadbury's Fudge here.]
Phoebe: Just a little bit, Mammy. Just a little bit. Please.
Me: No, Phoebe.
Phoebe. Please, Mammy. Just a little bit. PLEASE!
Me: No.
Phoebe: Please.
Me: No
Please.
No.
Please.
No.
[This continues for quite some time.]
Me: It doesn't matter how many times you ask me, or how loudly, the answer is still No.
Phoebe: PURLEASE!!!
Ash: Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! [Loosely translated as "What the crap was that? Man, it was loud. And I really didn't like it. Make it stop. Oh my god. I'm so hungry. I'm being ignored. Where's my bath? I want my bath. I want my bath, boob and bed. And I'm not going to shut up until I get it.]
Exit Me and Ash side stage.

Later, whilst I'm finishing Ash's bath I overhear a conversation between Phoebe and Toby. As he's leaving the room I hear Toby saying, " ... and if you eat all of your cottage cheese on toast then maybe you can have just a little bit of fudge."

So, let me get this straight. She decides she doesn't like her dinner so she gets something else AND a treat?

I say in passing, "I still think No."

Phoebe hears me but Toby doesn't.

Phoebe: Mammy says no.
Toby: What's that, honey?
Phoebe, in her best sad voice: Mammy says no. No chocolate tonight.
Toby: Oh! But you can have a little bit of fudge. [Fudge IS chocolate. Why can't anyone see that?] If you eat your toast quickly and don't mess about then Phoebe and Daddy can share a little bit of fudge.

Hang on! So I'm the only one who doesn't get fudge? Hmmm... this doesn't seem fair. Try and instill a little bit of discipline and you become the bad guy and then you're punished by not getting fudge. And I ate all my dinner!

Me: But she didn't eat her dinner.
Toby: She's eating her cottage cheese. And she's being a good girl.
Me: She is now.

Now that she knows she's getting fudge. I surrender graciously.

But now there's a half eaten Cadbury's Fudge on the bench and I really want to have a nibble. That's English Cadbury's by the way. I'm so tormented.

UPDATE: There's a showdown going on between Toby and Phoebe. Not sure what's happening but he just shut her bedroom door which is generally what we do when she won't go to sleep, and she's in there crying "No. No," and screaming.

Kind of why I didn't want to give her Fudge.

But I won't say I told you so. I'll just think it.

And smugly publish it in this post.