Now she can talk

Phoebe comes up with some little gems sometimes. Here are a few from the last week.

Goodness me, crows!
There is a gang of about five crows that hang around our garden and steal the cats' food at any opportunity. They really annoy me. I spend a lot of time banging on the patio door and yelling at them. A few months back I caught Phoebe banging on the door yelling "Bloody crows," and decided I'd better watch what I say around her.

The other morning she was opening the patio door and yelling, "Go away crow, go away. Go away crow." And a bit later she opened the door again and shouted in exasperation, "Goodness me, crow, go away. Go away, crow."

My sister tells me that my funny little niece, Lucy, also says "Goodness me" so I wonder if they've both got it from some television program, like Peppa Pig. I'm sure she didn't get it from me.


Finger-licking good
The day before she made me laugh when we were reading a story at nap time. Phoebe was in charge of turning the pages. She kept putting her index finger and thumb together and licking them. The funny thing is that she was licking them after she'd turned the page. I think Stacey, her teacher at daycare must do that when reading to the kids. She then did it rather randomly a few days later as we were leaving the shopping centre - no books in sight. I asked if that's what Stacey did and she told me it was. 




Thunderstorm
After Phoebe's nap on the same finger-licking day she asked for some fruit but we didn't have much worth eating. I was wondering out loud when we were going to get to the shops and commenting that all the fruit was past its best and she said "don't worry, Mammy, it's ok."


Thanks Phoebe.


I grabbed the phone to call Toby and see if he could pick some fruit up on his way home from work. I wasn't too keen to pop out myself as there was a rather large thunderstorm on the way and the sky was looking really ominous. Whilst on the phone I went out onto the patio to bring the washing in. It started to thunder. Phoebe picked the phone up and hit the call button. 


"It's ringing, Mammy," she said when she heard the dial tone.
Me: Oh really. Who are you calling?
Phoebe: Andrei.
Me: Oh ok then.
Phoebe: Hello Andrei. Phoebe. Sitting outside. Erm. Yes, erm. Thunderstorm. Erm. Tree. Best go inside. Er okay, bye.

It does sound rather like Andrei must have been on the other end of the phone conversing with her doesn't it? But no, this was a monologue.


Once upon a time...
She has similar monologues when "reading" stories. The other day she opened a magazine that was lying on the dining table. There was a car advert. And she said:

Once upon time in night garden a car. [mumble mumble some "words" I didn't understand.] The end.

No hitting!
Obviously Toby and I telling her that hitting and kicking is wrong is having some impact. Although she still can get a bit vicious at times, she has also been known to say to us, "No Mammy, don't hit Phoebe!" I should point out that we don't smack her or anything but seemingly certain actions get interpreted by her as hitting or pushing. The other day she and Toby were mucking about on the sofa with a bit of rough and tumble and she said, "No Daddy, don't touch me. Get your hands off me."

And the other night she was doing my hair, making it go all static. I pushed it out of my eyes and she said "No, just leave it. Just leave it. No touching."




A handle?
The other day we were in the supermarket and Phoebe started asking for lollies. Lollies in Australia often just means sweeties or candy, as opposed to specifically lollipops. I told her I wasn't buying lollies because we had chewy snakes in the car and loads of Easter chocolate at home. When we got to the checkout she kept asking for a handle.

"A handle? What do you mean a handle? [To Toby] What's a handle?"
Toby shrugged.
"Mammy, amma handle. Handle. Please."

Eventually we discovered that she meant a lollipop.


And I'll have the ice cream, thanks
Last night we were out for dinner with friends. We were all ordering dessert and we said to Phoebe, "Tell the man with the book [i.e. the menu] what you want."

She turned to the waiter and very clearly asked for "ice cream please."

"Would you like some chocolate sauce with that?" he asked her.

"Yes," she said.

A little later Toby and a friend had coffees brought to the table and Phoebe turned to the waiter and said, "Babycino please." Sometimes I forget she's only two.

Grumpy
But by far the funniest story that had Toby and me in stitches the other tea time is the one that started with Phoebe asking for "Chocolate?"

"No Phoebe," I told her. "You haven't eaten any vegetables. Eat that carrot if you want to have some chocolate."


She rolled her eyes and sighed as if to say, not this again. Then she frowned and folded her arms. 


"I'm grumpy," she announced in all seriousness.


"Really?" I asked. "Is Phoebe grumpy?"


"Yes," she said. "I'm grumpy, like Stacey."


I don't know where she got that from but it made my day.