I am so exhausted.
I have been in pain for almost four days now and it has made me quite exhausted. I have lost an entire long weekend, achieving only minor triumphs, such as polishing up the ceramic hob a treat, re-potting some of my more lanky seedlings and a load or two of washing. Yippee-do.
I am in two minds as to whether to go to yoga tonight. I think it would do me good but I don't want to just turn up expecting to get personal attention and take Sheree away from the rest of the class; I really am still quite stiff and immobile. At least I can almost walk straight now though. I'm also not sure the drive up there would do me much good and, as I said, I'm so exhausted.
I tried to phone Sheree, figuring if she's okay with it I may as well go. At that point I also thought I'd send a text message to a colleague whose brother back in England is seriously ill. This chap is thinking he might even have to fly home this week. I wanted to check on his brother and also tell him I mightn't be at work tomorrow. That was when I remembered that my phone credit period had expired and I had to put my new voucher in. I bought it when I dragged myself to the shop with my mother-in-law on Saturday. She was very helpful and insisted on carrying the heavy bags. As such when we got home it all got confusing. We were all tired and running around doing all sorts of things: putting flowers in water, unpacking groceries, sticking a new shower caddy in and preparing a new litter tray for the cats. The voucher and receipt became mislaid amongst all this and I've no idea where they are. I've searched the kitchen, the bin, the recyle bin. I haven't done the outside bins but I don't think we've emptied anything over this weekend.
I'm annoyed because it's wasted money if I don't find it plus I can't use my phone and I'm probably too tired to look effectively so I could have just missed it. Anyway, I then tried to phone Sheree on the house phone but she didn't answer. I can't text message her because my phone won't work. It's all too hard and I just want to sleep. Or snuggle up in front of a DVD... if I can get myself into a comfortable position that is. I'm thinking it might be a better idea not to go and to try to see my physio tomorrow.
I'm a right bundle of laughs, aren't I? At least it's only a three day work week. I'm not even going to think about how much work I have to do.
Monday, June 9, 2008
Friday, June 6, 2008
Hurty hurty ow ow (week 5-6)
What a busy week. There have been so many times when I've thought "ooh... must stick that in my diary" but I just haven't had the chance. I can't remember what most of them are now so I'll tell you the predominant thought I have right now.
OWwwwwwwww!!!!
I have such a sore back. It's really not amusing. I spent most of yesterday on my knees bending over to administer imaginary first aid to drunken mountain bikers and agitated electricians (both also imaginary but very convincing), not to mention the unconscious, non-breathing dummy with no heartbeat. (Well, it was a dummy, what did they expect? Made us administer CPR anyway. Ridiculous.) I spent a lot of my mental energy concentrating profusely on what I was doing, so keen was I to help these imaginary victims. As such absolutely no thought was given to my posture and I'm paying for it now.
It probably didn't help that I then jumped in the car and drove 35km up the coast for my yoga class. We decided not to go on Monday night thanks to torrential rain all day, which flooded parts of the coast. This morning I got up and went to Pilate's before staggering around Woolworths with a shopping basket picking up stuff for morning tea and doing other shopping at the same time. Why I stupidly decided I'd be fine with a basket, I don't know. Bad back, basket filled to the brim with white spirit (called mineral turpentine or mineral spirits in Australia, I learned the other day after wondering why I could never find any in the shop), soda water, two bottles of juice, a selection of goodies for morning tea, ceramic hob cleaner and a pumpkin and then attempting to carry in my free hand a 12 pack of toilet rolls and a bag of cat food. Not the wisest thing I've done this week.
By the time I got to work I could barely move. Then the lift broke. Bloody marvelous. I'm just pleased I wasn't in it at the time. Every time I leave my desk I have to pause for a while to let my body wake up a bit or I literally can't walk. Then when I do find myself able to get on the move it bloody well hurts and I hobble like an octogenarian. Sitting in a chair all day is not helping. Ow ow ow. A colleague gave me some ibuprofen this morning. Don't worry, I looked it up first and it's fine in the first and second trimester as long as it's just on occasion. Didn't help much though.
This morning my first thought (which was also my last thought last night and before I realised I was still a cripple) was "ow... sore boobs". I struggled to do the seated row in the gym on Tuesday thanks to this new disability. I might have to drop that one from my gym program. The rest of my gym session was great though. I felt like I was over my virus and had a burst of energy. I went for a swim on Wednesday and that felt great too. On Wednesday evening, however, I was a tad achy and I'm not sure whether it was thanks to the virus playing funny buggers with me ("Hello! Did you miss me?") or the trials of early pregnancy. It's fairly hard to tell.
At one point this week I wondered whether I might give birth to an alien baby on account of the strange triangular marks on my skin. When my period was due I had a triangle of pimples on my right cheek, then a few days later I noticed a triangle of other marks on the right hand side of my neck, which may have been pimples, or possibly mosquito bites OR... the mark of the Triangle Aliens. I mean, what are the chances of having two triangular sets of pimples on the same side of your body at the same time? Thankfully they've all gone now because the ones on my neck were really itchy. I wonder if they gave me a super-power whilst they were at it.
I have suffered from itchy skin too, only occasionally and mainly near my belly button or on my chest. Thankfully that hasn't happened much because it is really annoying.
My lovely trim belly disappeared at the start of this week and I'm feeling a bit more bloated now. It comes and goes but I definitely feel bigger although I haven't put on any weight. Some days it's hard to find clothes that are comfortable. It's very disappointing. I was loving my trimmed belly and it disappeared as soon as it came, tantalising me with visions of flat abs and being able to disguise being pregnant for many months to come.
I also had my last glass of wine this week. It's just not worth it. When I smell it I want to taste it but after about a third of a glass I've had enough and then I feel guilty for drinking it in the first place. I read last time around that between 6 and 10 weeks the embryo is particularly sensitive to influences from its environment, including (and probably in particular) what mother eats and drinks. So from next Wednesday no caffeine and no alcohol for a month. I'm also going to try to be careful with sugar and fat and processed foods. The only thing I'm a bit worried about is our camping trip to Straddie next weekend. It's going to be very hard not to drink caffeine or alcohol or eat bad foods without tongues wagging. I'm sure Lucie already suspects and I don't know what to do if she asks me. I don't want to lie about it but I'm just not ready to tell people yet and I don't really want her and Scott knowing too long before we tell our families. I thought I'd wait at least until I see Dr Stokes on 23rd June. I told Sherry, our yoga instructor, last night because I want to feel comfortable in yoga and I'm not sure I would if I didn't know she knew. I may have interpreted her wrong but she basically told me not to get too excited, only she used the words "stay open to it" or something, whatever that means. I'll probably tell Christine, my physio, at my appointment with her next Thursday.
Not feeling too great right now. Stomach sore. Feels a bit crampy. Can't quite tell what it is but it could be due to what I've eaten today (had a couple of biscuits - naughty, naughty.) My jeans feel too tight and I can't get in a comfortable position for my tummy thanks to my dodgy back. I need to go home and have a nice warm bath with Epsom salts and do lots of stretching, I think. Oh! Are Epsom salts okay in pregnancy? So much to think about. Hang on! I'll do a quick Google and let you know.
Well fifteen minutes of searching and browsing later and I'm none the wiser. The jury appears to be out. It certainly doesn't seem to be advisable to drink Epsom salts to help with constipation whilst pregnant, but it is okay to sit in Epsom salted water if you have hemorrhoids, neither of which gems of advice are particularly helpful to me. My physio recommended Epsom salts but then I forgot to tell her I was pregnant. Maybe I'll just lie on a hot water bottle.
OWwwwwwwww!!!!
I have such a sore back. It's really not amusing. I spent most of yesterday on my knees bending over to administer imaginary first aid to drunken mountain bikers and agitated electricians (both also imaginary but very convincing), not to mention the unconscious, non-breathing dummy with no heartbeat. (Well, it was a dummy, what did they expect? Made us administer CPR anyway. Ridiculous.) I spent a lot of my mental energy concentrating profusely on what I was doing, so keen was I to help these imaginary victims. As such absolutely no thought was given to my posture and I'm paying for it now.
It probably didn't help that I then jumped in the car and drove 35km up the coast for my yoga class. We decided not to go on Monday night thanks to torrential rain all day, which flooded parts of the coast. This morning I got up and went to Pilate's before staggering around Woolworths with a shopping basket picking up stuff for morning tea and doing other shopping at the same time. Why I stupidly decided I'd be fine with a basket, I don't know. Bad back, basket filled to the brim with white spirit (called mineral turpentine or mineral spirits in Australia, I learned the other day after wondering why I could never find any in the shop), soda water, two bottles of juice, a selection of goodies for morning tea, ceramic hob cleaner and a pumpkin and then attempting to carry in my free hand a 12 pack of toilet rolls and a bag of cat food. Not the wisest thing I've done this week.
By the time I got to work I could barely move. Then the lift broke. Bloody marvelous. I'm just pleased I wasn't in it at the time. Every time I leave my desk I have to pause for a while to let my body wake up a bit or I literally can't walk. Then when I do find myself able to get on the move it bloody well hurts and I hobble like an octogenarian. Sitting in a chair all day is not helping. Ow ow ow. A colleague gave me some ibuprofen this morning. Don't worry, I looked it up first and it's fine in the first and second trimester as long as it's just on occasion. Didn't help much though.
This morning my first thought (which was also my last thought last night and before I realised I was still a cripple) was "ow... sore boobs". I struggled to do the seated row in the gym on Tuesday thanks to this new disability. I might have to drop that one from my gym program. The rest of my gym session was great though. I felt like I was over my virus and had a burst of energy. I went for a swim on Wednesday and that felt great too. On Wednesday evening, however, I was a tad achy and I'm not sure whether it was thanks to the virus playing funny buggers with me ("Hello! Did you miss me?") or the trials of early pregnancy. It's fairly hard to tell.
At one point this week I wondered whether I might give birth to an alien baby on account of the strange triangular marks on my skin. When my period was due I had a triangle of pimples on my right cheek, then a few days later I noticed a triangle of other marks on the right hand side of my neck, which may have been pimples, or possibly mosquito bites OR... the mark of the Triangle Aliens. I mean, what are the chances of having two triangular sets of pimples on the same side of your body at the same time? Thankfully they've all gone now because the ones on my neck were really itchy. I wonder if they gave me a super-power whilst they were at it.
I have suffered from itchy skin too, only occasionally and mainly near my belly button or on my chest. Thankfully that hasn't happened much because it is really annoying.
My lovely trim belly disappeared at the start of this week and I'm feeling a bit more bloated now. It comes and goes but I definitely feel bigger although I haven't put on any weight. Some days it's hard to find clothes that are comfortable. It's very disappointing. I was loving my trimmed belly and it disappeared as soon as it came, tantalising me with visions of flat abs and being able to disguise being pregnant for many months to come.
I also had my last glass of wine this week. It's just not worth it. When I smell it I want to taste it but after about a third of a glass I've had enough and then I feel guilty for drinking it in the first place. I read last time around that between 6 and 10 weeks the embryo is particularly sensitive to influences from its environment, including (and probably in particular) what mother eats and drinks. So from next Wednesday no caffeine and no alcohol for a month. I'm also going to try to be careful with sugar and fat and processed foods. The only thing I'm a bit worried about is our camping trip to Straddie next weekend. It's going to be very hard not to drink caffeine or alcohol or eat bad foods without tongues wagging. I'm sure Lucie already suspects and I don't know what to do if she asks me. I don't want to lie about it but I'm just not ready to tell people yet and I don't really want her and Scott knowing too long before we tell our families. I thought I'd wait at least until I see Dr Stokes on 23rd June. I told Sherry, our yoga instructor, last night because I want to feel comfortable in yoga and I'm not sure I would if I didn't know she knew. I may have interpreted her wrong but she basically told me not to get too excited, only she used the words "stay open to it" or something, whatever that means. I'll probably tell Christine, my physio, at my appointment with her next Thursday.
Not feeling too great right now. Stomach sore. Feels a bit crampy. Can't quite tell what it is but it could be due to what I've eaten today (had a couple of biscuits - naughty, naughty.) My jeans feel too tight and I can't get in a comfortable position for my tummy thanks to my dodgy back. I need to go home and have a nice warm bath with Epsom salts and do lots of stretching, I think. Oh! Are Epsom salts okay in pregnancy? So much to think about. Hang on! I'll do a quick Google and let you know.
Well fifteen minutes of searching and browsing later and I'm none the wiser. The jury appears to be out. It certainly doesn't seem to be advisable to drink Epsom salts to help with constipation whilst pregnant, but it is okay to sit in Epsom salted water if you have hemorrhoids, neither of which gems of advice are particularly helpful to me. My physio recommended Epsom salts but then I forgot to tell her I was pregnant. Maybe I'll just lie on a hot water bottle.
Sunday, June 1, 2008
I can keep a secret
I'm quite excited about being pregnant but also surprisingly chilled out about it, so far at least. Last time I was a nervous wreck and could barely keep it to myself and when I did I was convinced it was obvious I was hiding something, which it probably was given the frame of mind I was in.
I know it's early days but I have felt no inclination to tell anyone that I'm pregnant yet, not family nor friends, no one other than Toby. I'm not sure when I will feel like telling people or when it's a good idea to tell people. Perhaps waiting until my appointment with the obstetrician is a good time, but then again it was after our appointment last time that we found out about the missed miscarriage and I'm not sure it's a good idea to try and go through something like that on our own.
I'm feeling a little guilty today. I had two cups of chai tea this morning without really thinking about it, one with breakfast and even used it to swallow my multi-vitamin. Then round at Scott and Lucie's I was offered a green tea and stupidly said yes even though I wasn't sure it was a good idea and I'd already had two cups of chai. Apparently green tea, and to a lesser extent black tea, decreases the absorption of folic acid, which every expectant mother knows is vital to prevent abnormalities such as spina bifida in a baby. Using tea to swallow my vitamin was just dumb. Then tonight, at Libbette's I was poured some wine and didn't feel like I could refuse to take a few sips. I didn't drink the whole glass. I didn't feel like it and started to get a headache so used the virus as an excuse and gave Betty what I'd left. I'm not really too worried but I kind of feel like I should be. I have a number of occasions where I'm going to have to somehow avoid alcohol over the next few weeks: dinner at Scott and Lucie's on Wednesday, which shouldn't be too hard; then a big weekend get-together with friends in two weeks. So maybe I will end up telling a few close friends or, more likely, I'll be asked.
I know it's early days but I have felt no inclination to tell anyone that I'm pregnant yet, not family nor friends, no one other than Toby. I'm not sure when I will feel like telling people or when it's a good idea to tell people. Perhaps waiting until my appointment with the obstetrician is a good time, but then again it was after our appointment last time that we found out about the missed miscarriage and I'm not sure it's a good idea to try and go through something like that on our own.
I'm feeling a little guilty today. I had two cups of chai tea this morning without really thinking about it, one with breakfast and even used it to swallow my multi-vitamin. Then round at Scott and Lucie's I was offered a green tea and stupidly said yes even though I wasn't sure it was a good idea and I'd already had two cups of chai. Apparently green tea, and to a lesser extent black tea, decreases the absorption of folic acid, which every expectant mother knows is vital to prevent abnormalities such as spina bifida in a baby. Using tea to swallow my vitamin was just dumb. Then tonight, at Libbette's I was poured some wine and didn't feel like I could refuse to take a few sips. I didn't drink the whole glass. I didn't feel like it and started to get a headache so used the virus as an excuse and gave Betty what I'd left. I'm not really too worried but I kind of feel like I should be. I have a number of occasions where I'm going to have to somehow avoid alcohol over the next few weeks: dinner at Scott and Lucie's on Wednesday, which shouldn't be too hard; then a big weekend get-together with friends in two weeks. So maybe I will end up telling a few close friends or, more likely, I'll be asked.
Saturday, May 31, 2008
Definitely pregnant: second home test conclusive
Nuff said.
Unfortunately my predicted last weekend of normalcy before pregnancy tiredness kicks in has been hijacked by an evil virus kindly given me by my loving husband. I'm lethargic, tired and aching; aching head, limbs, joints, neck. It's hard to determine what is thanks to the pregnancy and what is additional but due to the aching I'm pretty sure it's more than just pregnancy symptoms.
Will go about making my various appointments on Monday. Toby and I are quite excited but I don't really feel like telling anyone just yet. I suppose I should probably tell my yoga instructor on Monday though.
Unfortunately my predicted last weekend of normalcy before pregnancy tiredness kicks in has been hijacked by an evil virus kindly given me by my loving husband. I'm lethargic, tired and aching; aching head, limbs, joints, neck. It's hard to determine what is thanks to the pregnancy and what is additional but due to the aching I'm pretty sure it's more than just pregnancy symptoms.
Will go about making my various appointments on Monday. Toby and I are quite excited but I don't really feel like telling anyone just yet. I suppose I should probably tell my yoga instructor on Monday though.
Friday, May 30, 2008
Probably pregnant
Day 30 of my cycle. I did a pregnancy test this morning and the result was "probably pregnant". Useful.
Last night I decided I definitely felt pregnant. My boobs started to feel a bit more tender. It was a familiar feeling and seemed like the last piece of the puzzle. So this morning as soon as I woke up I weed on a stick. Now, last time I got pregnant and did this the stick immediately registered me as being so. There was absolutely no doubt.
This time I used a different type of stick and boy was it slow. At first I thought "oh... not pregnant. That's strange because I'm pretty sure I am. Oh well I'll do another one tomorrow." I even dragged Toby in to show him, so incredulous was I.
"Yep. Not pregnant," he agreed.
"Well, it says to give it 3 minutes so I'll just sit and stare at it for a while and see if it changes."
Which I did, and it did. Slowly, a very faint line started to appear in the test window.
"See, here's a line!" I exclaimed, thrusting the stick at Toby.
"Hmmmm..." I could see he wasn't convinced. "I think you need to do another one."
The line did get slightly darker but not much and when I checked the instructions they said that the test line may appear lighter than the other and this means I am probably pregnant. What a useless test. I don't want to know whether I'm probably pregnant. I already knew that I was probably pregnant. I want to know if I am or if I am not.
The test shows levels of HCG (Human chorionic gonadotropin) in the body. By day 30 I would expect there to be conclusive levels so it could be a sign that all is not well. However, I'm more inclined to think that it's just a stupid useless test so on the way to work today I'm going to call in at the chemist and pick up one of the brand I used last time. Not that I especially want to go to work or get out of the car at all on the way. It's absolutely bucketing down. Hope I brought my umbrella home yesterday.
If I am pregnant the due date is approximately 5th February 2009, an acceptable distance from Christmas I think. And if the whole Boy Sperm Swims Fast, Girl Sperm Swims Slow theory is to be believed than I think I will be having a boy. Would still prefer a girl though I think.
It's typical that no sooner did I wax lyrical about the benefits of not being pregnant that I probably am pregnant. It is the case though that I am probably much better off fitness-wise than I was last time. Except for my bad back for which I blame my bike. And I'm way less freaked out this time because I've already been through the emotional stuff. I suspect I may struggle with accepting the pregnancy or breezing through it worry-free given my history. But anyway, all this could be premature as currently I'm only probably pregnant. I'll keep you posted.
Last night I decided I definitely felt pregnant. My boobs started to feel a bit more tender. It was a familiar feeling and seemed like the last piece of the puzzle. So this morning as soon as I woke up I weed on a stick. Now, last time I got pregnant and did this the stick immediately registered me as being so. There was absolutely no doubt.
This time I used a different type of stick and boy was it slow. At first I thought "oh... not pregnant. That's strange because I'm pretty sure I am. Oh well I'll do another one tomorrow." I even dragged Toby in to show him, so incredulous was I.
"Yep. Not pregnant," he agreed.
"Well, it says to give it 3 minutes so I'll just sit and stare at it for a while and see if it changes."
Which I did, and it did. Slowly, a very faint line started to appear in the test window.
"See, here's a line!" I exclaimed, thrusting the stick at Toby.
"Hmmmm..." I could see he wasn't convinced. "I think you need to do another one."
The line did get slightly darker but not much and when I checked the instructions they said that the test line may appear lighter than the other and this means I am probably pregnant. What a useless test. I don't want to know whether I'm probably pregnant. I already knew that I was probably pregnant. I want to know if I am or if I am not.
The test shows levels of HCG (Human chorionic gonadotropin) in the body. By day 30 I would expect there to be conclusive levels so it could be a sign that all is not well. However, I'm more inclined to think that it's just a stupid useless test so on the way to work today I'm going to call in at the chemist and pick up one of the brand I used last time. Not that I especially want to go to work or get out of the car at all on the way. It's absolutely bucketing down. Hope I brought my umbrella home yesterday.
If I am pregnant the due date is approximately 5th February 2009, an acceptable distance from Christmas I think. And if the whole Boy Sperm Swims Fast, Girl Sperm Swims Slow theory is to be believed than I think I will be having a boy. Would still prefer a girl though I think.
It's typical that no sooner did I wax lyrical about the benefits of not being pregnant that I probably am pregnant. It is the case though that I am probably much better off fitness-wise than I was last time. Except for my bad back for which I blame my bike. And I'm way less freaked out this time because I've already been through the emotional stuff. I suspect I may struggle with accepting the pregnancy or breezing through it worry-free given my history. But anyway, all this could be premature as currently I'm only probably pregnant. I'll keep you posted.
Thursday, May 29, 2008
Gulp
Something feels different.
Three days ago I told Toby that I was feeling a bit uncomfortable from being pre-menstrual but that I didn't feel pregnant. But now I'm not so sure. Just like last time I have felt like my period is on its way for a few days now. It's Day 29, one day late, and I've got that slightly-constipated-even-though-I'm-not-and-feeling-like-I-need-to-poo-
often-even-though-I-don't feeling... just like last time. Boobs don't feel as tender as I remember them being last time, however I also felt that the afore-mentioned feeling was the overriding one. I then went on to say, and I quote:
That is exactly how I'm feeling right now. Also, three days ago I didn't actually think it was possible for me to be pregnant, but now that I still haven't got my period I realise that the timing was actually right for me to get pregnant this month after all. I keep rushing off to the toilet to see whether Prunella has arrived... I suppose 29 days isn't too late.
Three days ago I told Toby that I was feeling a bit uncomfortable from being pre-menstrual but that I didn't feel pregnant. But now I'm not so sure. Just like last time I have felt like my period is on its way for a few days now. It's Day 29, one day late, and I've got that slightly-constipated-even-though-I'm-not-and-feeling-like-I-need-to-poo-
often-even-though-I-don't feeling... just like last time. Boobs don't feel as tender as I remember them being last time, however I also felt that the afore-mentioned feeling was the overriding one. I then went on to say, and I quote:
I'm expecting Prunella to arrive today. I wish she'd hurry up so I can get the "feeling not quite right" bit over with. I am so lucky that Prunella is generally pretty easy on me. Many other girls get very sick at this time of month and the worst I get is a slightly dodgy stomach and the occasional mild headache. Still, it's a bit irritating.
That is exactly how I'm feeling right now. Also, three days ago I didn't actually think it was possible for me to be pregnant, but now that I still haven't got my period I realise that the timing was actually right for me to get pregnant this month after all. I keep rushing off to the toilet to see whether Prunella has arrived... I suppose 29 days isn't too late.
Tuesday, May 27, 2008
Another baby
Forgot to mention in my last post that I've just found out about another baby. Another one!!! Can you belieeeeeeeeeve it??! I almost can't. Only this time it's not a pregnancy, it's an actual baby. Somehow I managed to lose touch with a friend for so long she went and got pregnant, gestated an entire baby, gave birth to it and then managed to grow it for 13 days. Obviously that was a bit too long between emails. I'm actually really, really happy about this baby. I don't necessarily see that as a sign that I'm all better and not crazy any more. I think there are a few reasons why I'm happy about this one. Firstly, it's an actual baby, not a pregnancy. Somehow that makes it better. It was all well underway before I found out about mine so she's not copying like everyone else. Secondly, she's a wee bit older than me and her hubby is even older than her (late thirties, early forties) and they're both such lovely people that I can't be anything but happy for them. Thirdly, I've been wondering for some time whether they'd have a baby and I've kind of been waiting for the email saying they were for a couple of years now. When I contacted my friend to see how she was I had a feeling that she might either be expecting or already a mother. It's very exciting.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)